Apologies
Hey sorry for the lack of updates recently…for the past 3 months or so…heh.
Life sucks Jesus Christ monkey balls.
Anyways, I thought I might post some really funny stuff that I found while ADDing on homework.
Here’s a picture that’s sure to make you laugh, if you understand it:
I almost bust a nut. I don’t know why I found it so funny. It must be the stress…
And because I thought of a pretty original (I thought) yo mama joke during Spanish class, I thought I would show you some yo mama jokes. My original was pretty nerdy, so the rest follow suit:
Mine: Yo mama so fat that scientists use her as a unit of measure for planets! (Feel free to add “BIETCHHH!” if you wish.)
Others:
Yo mama’s resting energy is her mass times the speed of ugly squared.
Yo mama so fat, her blue mumu looks like a red shift.
Yo mama’s like an mp3—she’s free, and everyone just passes her around.
Yo mama so fat, neutrinos stop and go around her!
Yo mama so fat, Stephen Hawking found three extra dimensions in her panties!
Yo mama so fat, she sat down at the Periodic Table—and Uranium got pissed off and left!
Yo mama made of Ugly quarks.
Yo mama so fat, when she go to the beach, Greenpeace tries to tow her back out to sea!
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s afraid that if she runs into Auntie Matter, they’ll gravitationally collapse and create a black hole!
Yo mama so dumb, she thinks the Lorenz-Fitzgerald contraction is what happened right before she had twins.
Yo mama’s so fat they have to draw her world-line with a paint roller.
Yo mama’s so fat we can’t even ASSUME she’s a point mass.
Yo mama’s ass is a quantum phenomenon—more wave than particle.
Yo mama is so fat, she don’t have skin; she has an event horizon.
Yo mama so dumb, her IQ is an imaginary number.
Yo mama’s so fat, her DNA is a TRIPLE helix.
Yo mama so dumb, she STILL thinks voting for Bush the second time was a good idea.
That’s it. Hope you have an awesome almost-end-of-the-school-year-and-almost-summer.
Ironic
You know, last night, I went to bed at 8:30 just because I wanted an adequate amount of sleep and because I had a track meet the next day (today). I didn’t even finish homework; I just basically said, “Screw this,” and tried to sleep. I say tried because I didn’t actually fall asleep until about 10:30, which is, if my calculation is correct, two hours of lying in bed peering through the darkness.
It’s quite funny, considering that when I don’t want to fall asleep (e.g. in class or when I have an important project due), I do fall asleep, even if I fight against it.
…And then when I do want to sleep, I can’t. What the eff…?
In other news, it was freezing cold out on the track during the track meet today. According to weather.com, the temperature was around 56 Fahrenheit. I wasn’t that cold because I, knowing how California weather usually is and knowing from previous experience that ALL track meets end up in the cold, prepared sweat pants and a super warm sweatshirt. Seriously, I think I may have some kind of ESP because I was able to look past the deceptive heat waves between noon and 3 PM and see that it was going to be freezing cold. I’m amazing.
Life – ?
Song of the week: Someday – Sugar Ray
So my grandfather died Friday night. Haven’t really heard anything else about what’s going on because my (extended) family lives in Korea, but yeah. Liver cancer. I had a conversation over the ever-so-convenient AIM with a friend about how I felt. I dunno. Should I feel this way? I’ve lived most of my life in the US and when I did live in Korea, I never really saw my grandpa that much. Kind of a distant figure, but you know, still close I guess.
Me: i’m not really that sad right now
Me: i feel kinda detached from everything
Me: so yeah
Friend: yech I know that feeling
Me: i’ve been feeling that way for a while
Friend: since when?
Me: lol idk
Me: a year maybe
Friend: wow
Me: idk
Friend: lol I felt the same way actually, since the beginning of sophomore year
Friend: everything changed the first day we went back to school this year
Friend: like I don’t even know how to describe it man
Me: haha
It’s weird, there’s no connection between me, my thoughts, and the “real world”.
Me: grr but seriously
Me: school
Friend: I can’t even relate man
Me: is making my life a living dream
Me: and by dream
Friend: nightmare
Me: i mean like it feels like i’m not even awake
Me: not a good or bad dream
Me: just
Friend: hahaha
Me: a dream
Friend: that’s painful
Me: yeah
Me: so basically
Me: in a day in my life
Me: if i do something iwant to do
Me: then that means that i don’t get enough sleep
Friend: O-o
Me: which means i fall asleep in class
Friend: hahaha
Me: which means it takes longer to do hw
Me: which means i have less time to do what i want
Me: which means i have less time to sleep
Me: etc etc
Me: weekends = salvation
I thought I had narcolepsy, but it might just be the lack of sleep or too much stress (I got the flu twice this season), or a combination of both. I just hope that this is a phase.However, the thing I like about me is (yes, I know, so conceited) is that I can still be happy (I haven’t decided if this is only on the outside or on the inside too). Ask anyone, I’ll laugh 99.9% of the days that I’m not sick. Or joke, or whatever. It’s just me
be jealous.
Woot.com
So I’ve been visiting this particular site on a (nearly) daily basis for a while now. It’s called Woot!. Basically, the sell random stuff at a lower price than normal retail price (about 15-50% cheaper) and they sell a new random thing each day. The website refreshes and starts selling a new item at 10 PM PST (Daylights Saving Time). I ordered this AWESOME SHIRT from another branch of the site, Shirt Woot!. Here’s a picture:
Isn’t that just AWESOME??? Yeah, anyways, it should be coming in around next Monday or Tuesday. Occasionally, Woot! will sell something absolutely awesome at a way cheap price (e.g. surround sound speakers, desktop PCs, etc. etc.). Also, there’s some contests that you can participate in in order to get Woot credits for your purchases. It’s pretty cool.
Alright, so I’m done advertising. I just wanted to brag about my shirt, but I guess I ended up marketing. K well bye.
February the 5th!
Good mooooooorning* Newbury Park!
*well, it’s actually the afternoon, but I’m copying the movie Good Morning, Vietnam. Good movie. You should watch it. It has Robin Williams in it. Yeah, the funny guy.
Well, it’s certainly been about two weeks, hasn’t it? I can swear that last week, which was a four day week, was the longest four day week ever. It was just so exceptionally boring… Well, today is Super Tuesday 2008!!$!!111!!#!!!eleven!!!!!@! For those of you who don’t know what Super Tuesday is, click here. For the latest news on Super Tuesday, click here. You commies don’t know what day it is…
Anyways, I guess I’ll start off by complaining reporting the weather.
TODAY
was cold, as usual. It’s February, for crissake! Stop bitching. Get a jacket. A warm, thick jacket. Not those pussy “ohemgee i’m gonna look so cool today” jackets. FIRST of all, they have no material. This means you get cold, you get less for more money (just like thongs and bikinis, but I don’t mind those, just jackets), and you’ll catch pneumonia. Yeah, talk about faggotry. SECOND of all, you don’t (DO NOT) look cool when you’re shivering, freezing to death!!!!retards!!!!!!! I mean sure, goosebumps are cool, but only if you’re a f~censored~king biology nerd-o (like me). THIRD, you’re just dumb in general. I’m not going to continue with this argument (because I win anyways).
I will say this, though:
CALIFORNIA IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE WEATHER.
We have rainy season (now), dry season (AKA Santa Ana season), and fire season (AKA Holy jeepers batman! season). I say onto the dry season. It’s “summer” then and we have no skool beecuz ejukashun iz 4 n00bz lawl. Side note: It’s supposed to be the rainy season right now, but we only had, what, two weeks of rain? Lame. So I guess every season is dry season, only in the rainy season, it rains for a little. Lame-o California “weather”.
TOMORROW
is going to be cold.
If you are reading this, I am raising money for my church’s Mexico mission trip and am selling candy for $1 a piece to do so. If you want to help support the cause, please seek me or Luke Reilly out and buy a candy or two. Snickers, Starbursts, M&Ms, Kit Kats, Skittles. Restocking soon on some other stuff, but to restock, we need to sell the remainder that we have left. At lunch, we are at the planter nearest to the office (in front of the B building). In the morning and break, we are between the B and C buildings. Yeah. I know it’s a ripoff, but if you say so, you’re a dumbfuck because this is for a good cause AND you pay for convenience. You can walk to fucking Albertson’s if you want to buy candy at 50 cents a piece. I love you all (except for you assholes).
Alright, Tweather is heading out to do some uber awesome homework, but keep in touch, because I will be reviewing the two greatest social networks of all time: Facebook and MySpace. They’re both gay. I mean limp. (like your dad when he saw your mom). JK dawgs.roflcopter
whoops, almost forgot the song of the day.
Lowrider by War
Old song. I think. It makes me laugh
Narcolepsy + Me = True
I’ve had this problem of falling asleep in most of my classes every single day of school since freshmen year. I always figured it was because I wasn’t getting enough sleep or whatever. However, I was bored and just decided to look up narcolepsy…and guess what? Just read on.
Wikipedia excerpt:
The main characteristic of narcolepsy is excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS), even after adequate night time sleep. A person with narcolepsy is likely to become drowsy or to fall asleep, often at inappropriate times and places. Daytime naps may occur without warning and may be physically irresistible. These naps can occur several times a day. They are typically refreshing, but only for a few hours. Drowsiness may persist for prolonged periods of time. In addition, night-time sleep may be fragmented with frequent awakenings.
In most cases, the first symptom of narcolepsy to appear is excessive and overwhelming daytime sleepiness. The other symptoms may begin alone or in combination months or years after the onset of the daytime naps. There are wide variations in the development, severity, and order of appearance of cataplexy, sleep paralysis, and hypnagogic hallucinations in individuals. Only about 20 to 25 percent of people with narcolepsy experience all four symptoms. The excessive daytime sleepiness generally persists throughout life, but sleep paralysis and hypnagogic hallucinations may not.
The symptoms of narcolepsy, especially the excessive daytime sleepiness and cataplexy, often become severe enough to cause serious problems in a person’s social, personal, and professional life.
In narcolepsy, the order and length of NREM and REM sleep periods are disturbed, with REM sleep occurring at sleep onset instead of after a period of NREM sleep. Thus, narcolepsy is a disorder in which REM sleep appears at an abnormal time. Also, some of the aspects of REM sleep that normally occur only during sleep — lack of muscular control, sleep paralysis, and vivid dreams — occur at other times in people with narcolepsy. For example, the lack of muscular control can occur during wakefulness in a cataplexy episode; it is said that there is intrusion of REM atonia during wakefulness. Sleep paralysis and vivid dreams can occur while falling asleep or waking up. Simply put, the brain does not pass through the normal stages of dozing and deep sleep but goes directly into (and out of) rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. This has several consequences:
- Nighttime sleep does not include as much deep sleep, so the brain tries to “catch up” during the day, hence EDS.
- People with narcolepsy may visibly fall asleep at unpredicted moments (such motions as head bobbing are common).
- People with narcolepsy fall quickly into what appears to be very deep sleep.
They wake up suddenly and can be disoriented when they do (dizziness is a common occurrence).- They have very vivid dreams, which they often remember in great detail.
People with narcolepsy may dream even when they only fall asleep for a few seconds.
Artist’s rendition of narcolepsy:
The worst part is, teachers don’t consider narcolepsy when looking at a sleeping student. No, they just get pissed. What if I can’t help sleeping during a long and boring lecture or a presentation by a fellow student that also happens to be boring? This is a serious disorder. In fact, I hga;loh. vjn h,ith v m bg whoa. I just had the craziest dream. I’m gonna go write this shit down and write a book based on it just like that guy that wrote Gulliver’s Travels. And I’ll get fucking rich. Hellz yeah.
Me and my future writing career:
FREEEEEEDOOOOMMMMMMM!
No, I am not imitating Mel Gibson as William Wallace (a.k.a Braveheart). Especially since:
- I am not Scottish.
- I have nothing against the English [except for this one girl I liked that was from England. I didn't exactly get rejected. More like...ignored :'( ].
- I don’t really like face paint. I mean, those little butterflies you can get drawn on your face at the fair are O.K., but the whole face? Too much for me.
- I don’t have people that want to kill me (if I do, I don’t know it. But I carry a knife anyways).
- I can’t ride horses for shittake mushrooms.
- Note: when I wrote “shittake”, spell check changed it to “shit take”. LAWL.
Anyways, my cry of “freedom!” comes from the deep satisfaction/relief/longing/anticipation for the end of the term and I’m sure the same goes for many others. Yeah, it’s like that shit you didn’t take (lawl shittake) for 5 months and the laxatives finally kicked in. Deep sense of relief. And also pain. Pain from being separated from the friend you had in your classes, you ignoramus, not your rectum. I will not dearly miss theatre class (that I took only so I wouldn’t have to take mass media) and all of the dumbfucks friends that I met. As for the other classes… fuck, I have them yearlong. To quote Jack Black (of Tenacious D, School of Rock, etc. etc.): “…Ffffuck my ass…”
Theatre class:
pictures courtesy of some weirdo.
On the weather side:In Newbury Park, CA 91320, USA, Western Hemisphere, Northern Hemisphere, New World, Land, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way Galaxy, Universe, 3rd Dimension, Existence, God’s Mind:
50% chance of rain on Saturday
80% chance of rain on Sunday
…No shit, dumbshits… Not you. I’m addressing the weather guys. Hmm I’m gonna predict the weather right now… It’s going to be DARK tonight! Oh.em.gee.
…Hmm..blah blah cold…blah blah blah…wind…blah cloudy (no dur)…hmm…
Everything seems like it always is (during rainy season). Gee, I can’t wait for the next season (dry season), but I’m more excited for the season after that (wildfire season; TEMPORAL, not TV shows..it’s a gay show anyways). Sigh… I love SoCal weather.Alright folks, I’m out because the better part of nature is calling me: food!
Later!
Two-Day Forecast
Tomorrow (Thursday) and Friday, we will be seeing light to heavy rain. The rain may or may not continue beyond Friday. Also, there is a 88% chance of “Oh, fuck, I just got anal raped by that test and now I’m bleeding internally”, as well as a 10% chance of “Shit, I give up on life” and a 2% chance of “We had finals today?”.
Review of Today’s Weather
Listen to this while you’re reading because it’s what I’m listening to while I’m writing:
As all of you found out, unless you were at home DGAFing or being sick or you were in your girlfriend’s closet all day because you couldn’t sneak back out during the night, it was pretty darn cold today. Oh, and raining. And did I mention it was cold?
I don’t know what the hell is up with the weather here. I mean, come on, it’s frickin’ sunny California right? Give us a fucking break and get on with the heat waves and Santa Anas and frickin wild fires. So then we can go to the beach and get sunburned (except for me; I use SPF zero and I bronze) so we can all complain and make excuses for looking at girls’ you-know-what-I’m-talking-about and say that we’re looking at how bad their tanlines are.
And plus, if it’s summer… well, let me put it this way: NO. FUCKING. SCHOOL.
Sounds like an awesome plan, huh? Yeah, I thought so myself.
I dunno about you, but I am done over finished exasperated surfeited with school. Yeah. Surfeited. Look it up: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/surfeited
Speaking of school, I’ve got homework, and you probably do too. So stop procrastinating and get to it.
